Monday, 21 February 2011

Top 10 - Hilarious questions from Yahoo Answers

My next Top 10 brings together the internet dunces of our world. So sit back, relax and laugh at their comedic expense. Note: All of these questions were genuinely asked by idiots on Yahoo Answers (most having typical spelling and grammar errors, which I corrected).

10. How much Listerine does it take to get drunk?

Okay, I don't know who told this kid that Listerine was a sustainable intoxicant, but I'd love to see him try and get drunk on the stuff. Oh well, at least he'll have minty fresh breath afterwards - if not his stomach pumped!

9. Why are the holes in cat’s fur always in the right places for their eyes?

A very deep question, but one which probably wasn't intended to be philosophical. Just another oblivious internet goon.

8. Is it normal for my left nipple to be bigger than the other two?

Woah, hang on! Did you say 'the other two?' I think you might have to get checked out on that one mate. I sincerely hope they don't think a belly button classes as a nipple.

7. Is it ok to touch yourself when you hear your parents have sex?

Yes, it's completely fine to do that - if you're a sexually frustrated, twisted and downright wrong human being.

6. Does it go dark at night where you’re from?

I'm not sure this person knows much about world geography. If they read the news at least once, maybe they might know that there are states other than Mississippi. Heck, there are actually other countries out there! Imagine that? No, this isn't an unfair American stereotype. They're all stupid.

5. How long would it take for a body to surface on a lake?

I don't think that this person should be posting things like this online. Shortly after, the police found the dead body and arrested him. Fortunately, he was let off soon after because he was incapable of filling in jail forms.

4. Why does the screen say “” after my son leaves even though he’s only doing his homework?

I know some parents aren't really 'tech aware', but this father should have probably picked up a few hints from the website's title. How 'Bangbros' didn't ring any bells I'll never know. The funny thing is though, he found this page on his son's computer more than once!

3. Is it possible to go to Narnia in real life?

This person was either really high, about 9 or most likely a member of World of Warcraft.

2. Do black people really taste like chocolate?

I can't work out whether this is racist or hilarious? I think even black people would struggle to keep a straight face with this one. Just another example of one of those delinquents of life.

1. I caught my son having sex with a guy and I think he might be gay. Is there a definitive way I can tell?

Stage 1: Was he having sex with a boy?
If 'yes', proceed to stage 2.
Stage 2: He's gay.
Quite definitive, don't you think?

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