Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Top 10 - Ways people annoy me on Facebook

Facebook - the social networking hub of the world. Almost everybody uses it (including me), and it seems that most people's lives revolve around the site. Unfortunately I tend to get annoyed quite easily, and Facebook proves no exception. So if you partake in any of these ten on the site, I don't resent you for it. I probably just find you really annoying...

10. People who attempt to spell using sophisticated language or grammar and fail

I have no problem with people mis-spelling or using bad grammar for obvious abbreviation or humour, but it's the ones who try to be clever and miraculously fail who destroy my hopes and dreams for the world's next generation. Or even worse; the idiots who have the cheek to correct someone's poor language use, then make a blunder themselves in the following exchange. I once witnessed a person on Facebook correcting someone and then using, and I quote, the word 'grammer' to point out that they had made a GRAMMAR mistake. It made me die a little inside.

9. People who talk about their sex lives

This one doesn't happen so much, but when it does, I think I am safe in saying that everyone is thinking the same thing as me - "we don't care". If you want to publicise your bedroom conquests, then upload your home movie to Porn Hub. No sex films on Facebook though please, I think you'll find that might be a little inappropriate.

8. People who moan about their problems

Stereotypically done by girls, an extension of this point involves a very vague status emphasising that there is something wrong. Then when a friend asks what is wrong (wait for it), the subject says "it doesn't matter". What now? Sometimes it's always better to see a councillor than hit your friends with the sob story if you're not going to share. And Frankly, I don't care. I come to Facebook to socialise, not mourn for your tragic split ends.

7. People (usually guys) who take photos of themselves topless

Okay I admit I have done this once before in the past when I was very naive. But in my defence, it never became my profile picture. The past is the past and therefore I shall not dwell on this point too much. It shall only be said that vain topless photography annoys me, and that it's nice you've taken the time to keep fit. Now put your shirt on you poser.

6. People who tell everyone that they are going on holiday

Okay, let me just write down your address so I can be sure that nobody will be in when I attempt to break into your house. This annoys me because it's so damn stupid. Yes, let your close friends know that you're going on holiday but don't tell everyone on Facebook. You can never be too sure who your friends are.

5. People who have a profile picture of a car

I'm pretty sure you're not actually a car. But your name is Optimus Prime. Hmmm...

4. People who post statuses every few minutes

When people do this, it's usually a constant drivel of useless information and unrelated crap. It's very annoying and is statistically one of the major reasons users tend to unfriend you. I'm really not surprised.

3. People who pretend to be ill and are miraculously very active online

As far as I'm concerned, if you are unable to get to work, school or college through illness - you should be in bed asleep or at the sink being sick. So therefore people who have a field day on Facebook while I've been working my balls of at college, while sometimes ill myself, do very much annoy me.

2. People with an inhumane amount of friends

I myself have just over 300 friends online. Some of them I don't even consider real friends, rather acquaintances. This number fluctuates as I add and delete people from my friends list who I newly meet or feel no need for. So in seeing people with over 1000 friends on the social network it makes me wonder - "how many of these 1000 people are actually your friends?" Most likely less than a half in most cases. The record out of my friends is 1970, and it's probably gone up by a few more since I last checked. Completely ludicrous.

1. People who randomly add you as a friend

I hate this. It's my number one bane of Facebook and that's why it's at number one on my list. Often, I'll receive an add from a seemingly unknown person. Upon asking who they are, they reply with "just a random add". Well, then I'm obviously not your 'friend'. Now fuck off.

Check out my new list: Top 10 - Other ways people annoy me on Facebook.

Want more Top 10s? Click HERE.

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